Saying No can break your heart

So yesterday when I got the email about baby, I was nervous. Not feeling bad about it. Not feeling good about it. Just nervous. Then when Emily and I were reading scriptures, she was reading about where Alma was troubled about what to do with the wayward members of the church. It really struck me how the Lord appreciated the efforts Alma was making to seek the influence of the Lord. Finally I felt good about things. Dave and I talked and prayed and got a little excited about saying yes. Then next morning we filled out the forms so I could send them in.

OK, it's Friday. I was so busy the last couple of days I forgot about having the girls help get the house cleaned for Katie to come. ARG!

So I raced around all morning cleaning and was ready to go about 9am.

On the way in, Katie called to say there was no cold water running in my kitchen sink. She tried a few things...no water in the fridge either. I know that those are the two pipes that go underground. Um...sounds like frozen pipes.

So I argued with the scanner for nearly an hour trying to get the "YES" scanned and sent in. In the meantime Dave came in and asked if we could lose money. The answer is yes, but I said why don't you call the attorney. So he did. And I waited to send it in. First he called A Act of Love. I wanted to listen in, but I ended up taking a call. Act of Love said yes, you can lose money--whatever birth parent expenses you pay are lost if something goes awry. Then he called the attorney's office. The attorney said that the baby's father had contacted him twice, and the baby's grandmother had contacted him as well. He talked about the details of what the dad had to do to protect his rights. He said it's not unusual for a Dad to jump up and down and wave his arms, but when push comes to shove, they don't do anything. And often it goes as far as the dad's mother pushes it. He talked about all the cases, how they win them, and how much they cost. The more he talked, the more uneasy I got. I wasn't sure why. I kinda thought that it meant that maybe we'd have a battle on our hands.

So Dave and I prayed about it. From the moment I kneeled down, I felt like I was going to throw up. Dread. Complete dread. I couldn't even concentrate on what Dave was saying in the prayer. As soon as I felt the dread, then I was sad and depressed too. After the prayer Dave was feeling OK, but I told him about the dread. He asked me to tell him again about my feelings from scripture study. I did. And I felt peaceful, but not like we should say yes. I cried and cried. And filled out another form with a No answer and sent it in.

And worked and worked. Dad came in when he was finished with school. Mom and I were still working. So I talked with him about the water pipes issue. We talked about the details, what pipes went where. Eventually he said something about the water softener. THAT was the key. Then I knew for sure it was frozen pipes because those two places were the only ones that don't go through the water softener. ARG! So Dad started talking about how it usually freezes at the cement line. That's when I realized that Dave had cleaned the garage...removing the boxes from the wall on the other side of the garage. The boxes that were obviously providing insulation. ARG!

So by afternoon it had thawed and was working. And we opened that door and removed the boxes from the inside so that the air could circulate. So it's working again.

I got home from work and errands at 5:30. Dave and I left for our date at 6:30. We ate dinner at our favorite, Angies, and watched a video. But we were so tired that was just fine.