Jan 1, 2010
I DID IT!!!! I managed to be so frustrated with Dave and NOT blow up at him. Seriously. One of our new years goals or resolutions is to have less contention. See...a year ago we agreed that we would host a teenager New Years Party for the next 6 or 7 years. WE...not me, WE. I knew I would need his help to supervise (and play with) all those boys. And I sure would like some help getting ready for the party also. So we did it. And when he didn't get home in time to help clean, in typical fashion, I blew up at him. Good thing he stayed.
Fast forward to this year. I'm expecting him home at about 6. But I asked him to be home at 4...which he did not agree to, but I figured if I said I wanted 4, I might get 6. I even asked him (when we left him at the office at about 2:30) if he had any other appointments for the day or if he was just trying to drum up business. The answer was number two. So imagine my surprise when he calls me at 5:30 and tells me he's on his way to Ogden (he's in Brigham City) chasing down the UPS guy. Um...HELLO! Party here at 7 pm that YOU are the chaperone!!!! My mind quickly did the time-math...he can still be home about 7 pm. It's going to by OK. But now he won't be here to do the dishes or help with any last minute preparations. Then the next thing out of his mouth..."so my ETA is 10 pm." WHAT????? That means I have all the teenagers to myself for 3 hours before he'll get there. And the kitchen and the dishes. Grrrr! About this time I realized I would not have a nurse until 10 pm. Now I have all the teenagers and Marky who'd actually been asleep since we got home.
I skipped the shower and spent that time cleaning up the kitchen and dinner. I was furious. And disappointed...except I wasn't my usual panicked self. I was stressed, but seriously what good would it do to complain? He wasn't going to come home. Sure he'd indicated without actually stating "I will be there" that he would, but none of that really mattered. He wasn't coming and nothing I could do would change that. I wasn't all OK with it or anything. I just said nothing. Then he perkily responded with "so I better get back to calling people...Bye!" and hung up.
So...what was the result? Well, we lived through it. It wasn't perfect. In fact it was pretty stressful. I was trying to be a hostess and get my previews done and my new product in the store all at the same time. Marky woke up and threw up and had diarrhea and needed a trach change. I raced downstairs and called for the girls for help. While we were all in Mark's room, a balloon fight ensued in the kitchen where apparently at least one person was defending herself from the balloon attack with kitchen knives. Seriously. Dave was needed to help with supervision. While I was getting Mark's trach changed and getting him cleaned up, one of the admins at SM shut off my new products because I didn't have them ready to go. But I got them fixed and she told me what to do to turn them back on. So I was working between helping the kids understand each little game of Buzz. Frequently I would walk downstairs just to see what was going on, then back up stairs and into the bonus room just to monitor everywhere all at once.
Dave got home at.......(you guessed it) 11:40. Just in time to help gather everyone for the countdown. And he did play some pool with the kids after midnight while we waited for all the parents to arrive. By 12:50 they were all gone home.
I didn't think he appreciated my not-get-upsetedness enough. He didn't think it was that big of a deal. So while I didn't blow up at him (definitely an improvement) I was still upset. Although I must admit as the night wore on and on and on without him, I thought to myself...really...is there any harm done by him not being here? No. As long as no one stabs anyone. LOL!
So why would he be so insenstive? 1) because he doesn't think it is insensitive. 2) because he procrastinates. It's true, he did make $1000 between 6 pm and midnight, but he could've made that money earlier, it just wasn't a high enough priority.
So I asked him to do something differently next Medicare season so that he can spend more of the holidays with us. (He got home on Christmas Eve at like 7:30) We'll see.
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